No doubt every sport, hobby or pastime has its own special jargon, but there really are some things you can only say on a showground…
1. He was so naughty that we had him gelded.
(This applies to a pony, not a husband. Sadly.)
2. He wouldn’t do what he was told, so I walloped him.
(As above. Also sadly.)
3. I do love a nice big bottom!
(On a Shire. Not a lady judge.)
4. Look at her lovely hairy legs.
(As above. And ditto.)
5. He looked wonderful when I smothered him in baby oil.
(It makes the coat shiny. Nothing to do with 50 Shades of Grey.)
6. He takes a lot of riding but the hard work does pay off.
(The least said about this one the better.)
7. Give him a little tickle with the whip to really get him working from behind.
(It’s all about the movement.)
8. Silly cow lost a shoe so we banged it back on again.
(Never heard in your local Clark’s.)
9. He felt really good underneath me.
(When everything goes right. In the show ring!)
10. I really like him, but the stud fees are too high.
(There’s a name for this.)
11. I love your breastplate.
(The right tack is important.)
12. I love 16 hands between my legs.
(The classic. Need we say more?)
We bet there are some we have missed! Let us know …