The twelve days of Christmas for the horsey girl

By Nicola Jane Swinney on |

0 Comments

The twelve days of Christmas for the horsey girl
facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Quite what someone would want with milkmaids or drummers is anyone’s guess, but what if The Twelve Days of Christmas were rewritten for a horsey girl?

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
A part-bred who’s over at the knee.

Oh well, I’ll teach it to jump and sell it on.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
A pair of purple gloves.

Not the best colour, but they’ll keep my hands warm while I’m mucking out.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Three French links.

He’s getting the idea, though I’d have preferred a mullen mouth.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Four collecting ring stewards.

I miss the showing season. But not that much.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Five golden tickets!

In my dreams.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Six mares a-foaling.

Waiting for your mare to foal is agony so you certainly don’t want six of them at once…

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Seven horses swimming.

Hydrotherapy is brilliant for horses, but very expensive.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Eight rugs for cleaning.

Charming.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Nine ladies side-saddle.

And very elegant they look, too.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Ten hunters leaping.

That’s more like it!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Eleven Royal Windsor pipers.

May seems a long way off.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Twelve drums of calmers.

I need these more than the darned horse!

I’ll keep the part-bred, the golden tickets and the hunters, but please send a van to collect the rest. And by the way, you’re dumped. Merry Christmas!

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>