The party season fast approaches and it’s time to raise a glass or two. But supposing horsey folk had their own cocktail mixologist — what would he recommend…? Here’s the perfect cocktail for every rider:
Anyone who has ever decided that “jumping for fun” is a good idea will undoubtedly have found that, at some point, the horse doesn’t agree and slams on the anchors at the approach, so that you — flying without wings — clear the obstacle on your own.
Cocktail: Diving Header
Horses are delightful creatures, but they can be stubborn, particularly when you’re trying to get some new movement into their thick skulls.
Cocktail: Moscow Mule
Bling is all the rage now, but you like the traditional way of things. So your hunter is immaculately turned-out, plaited, tail just above the hocks and plain tack. You are smart in a dark coat, light breeches, tall boots polished to a mirror shine, hair tucked into a hairnet, and smart beagler.
There is nothing quite so exhilarating as a good gallop — whether it’s across fields or a pipe-opener after a schooling session.
Cocktail: Woo Woo
He is having one of his “moments”. The darned horse has forgotten everything he’s been taught, he can’t even canter, and every hedge holds a terrifying monster (or carrier bag, to you and me).
You are absolutely knackered. You’ve schooled the darned horse, skipped out his stable, taken the wheelbarrow to the very top of the muckheap, groomed him to within an inch of yourlife, cleaned all the tack and swept the yard.
That awful feeling when you’re just about to head out with the horse — to a show, to a meet, to a hack — and he throws a shoe. Every time…
Cocktail: Rusty Nail
You’re going hunting for the first time ever. For both you and your horse, who has never seen hounds. And whose brakes can be somewhat unreliable.
You did not enjoy this morning’s schooling session. Howling gale, lashing rain and a jumpy horse who saw monsters everywhere. Oh, for an indoor school!
Against your better judgment, you’ve looked at your credit card statement. The darned horse is costing you a fortune! Rugs, tack, shoes, vet fees, insurance, training, feed, straw… It’s highway robbery.
Cocktail: Rob Roy
At last! After months and months — possibly even years and years — your horse has perfected the flying change. When you want it, not when he just feels like it.
Cocktail: Perfect Ten