New Year resolutions — for horses

By Nicola Jane Swinney on |

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Horses' New Year resolutions
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Of course, horses are far too sensible to make New Year’s resolutions. But if they did, which ones would they make…?

1. I will never roll in that lovely soft patch at the bottom end of the field again

Well, not before a show, anyway. So long as it’s important show. Like a Horse of a Year Show qualifier. Or HOYS itself…

2. I will stop eating my bed

But the straw is so delightfully crunchy!

3. I will stand properly at the meet, and not barge to the first fence

Slowcoaches.

4. I will not wait until the farrier has just left before I throw a shoe

Although I’ve learned lots of interesting new words.

5. I will stop pretending that carrier bags in hedgerows are terrifying monsters

There are fewer of them these days anyway, now they cost 5p.

6. I will not kick my stable door at feeding time

So long as I get fed first.

7. I will be good to catch

Most of the time. And if she brings enough pony nuts to tempt me.

8. I will try harder in the working hunter ring

But it takes two to tango and if she presents me wrong at a fence I will slam on the anchors.

9. I will not lean on my human when she’s picking out my feet

Although she’s just the right height and soooo comfy.

10. I will make a real effort to eat my own body weight in Polos

The only one any horse is likely to keep.

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