If you’re singing along to festive classics this Christmas, spare a thought for horsey folk, who may have an entirely different take on seasonal songs.
“I wish it could be Christmas every day…”
That’s because you don’t have to get up at 5am to do the horses.
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…”
The horse owner’s worst nightmare.
“All I want for Christmas is you…”
Actually, another horse would be nice.
“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…”
I’ll have to go and break the ice in the water trough.
“Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree, for me…”
How impractical. A Musto and a pair of Dubarrys please.
“All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth…”
Because I knocked them out falling off the darned horse.
Little donkey, little donkey, on a dusty road…”
Someone call the RSPCA.
“And I believed in Father Christmas…”
Until, aged seven, I got a paintbox instead of the pony I’d asked for.
“It’s lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you…”
If you think I’m tacking up the horse in this!
“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away…”
I gave mine to my horse. And he has it still.